OCTOBER 22, 2010 - 5 weeks, 6 days pregnant
I'm sitting in the waiting room of the OB office and I swear I am in an episode of 16 & Pregnant because the room is packed with groups of three; Mom, Teenage Daughter and Teenage Boyfriend. Not only am I the oldest pregnant woman in the room, but I'm pretty sure I'm actually older than some of the moms of the teenagers! I am gagging on the overpowering scent of Patchouli oil. What kind of douchebag wears Patchouli oil to the OBGYN? Don't these kids know that pregnant women have a bionic sense of smell that can identify different scents from 6 miles away? Speaking of knowledge, did anyone teach them about condoms?
At this point I'm not optimistic about the baby and I'm starting to go back into my I-hate-all-pregnant-people phase. I know it's irrational and childish but it's also pretty crappy to be surrounded by all these "oopsies" while I might be losing another baby. And to make this situation even worse, a threesome is making their way out the door when the mom hands the daughter the ultrasound pic and the surly emo girl waves her hand, rolls her eyes and says, "I don't want that." WTF I wanted to strangle that skinny skank! Oh, and I should probably clarify that I didn't hate all pregnant people after my MC, I just hated the ones who complained about being pregnant, the ones who didn't want to be pregnant and the Fertile Hos. I will write an entire blog post about the Fertile Hos in the future. But back to the appointment.
There's really not much to see on the ultrasound this early. The tech confirms that the gestational sac is inside my uterus (versus being in a tube) and that it's at the top of my uterus. I didn't understand why that was important so she explained it to me. She said an embryo that is going to miscarry will slowly scoot its way down the uterus towards the cervix so it can get out. It's not likely to spontaneously fall from the top of the uterus and out the hoo-haa. Basically that meant my little black dot had not started an evacuation route just yet. Looking at the location of my black dot on the screen I realized that the last time we were here my black dot was at the bottom. She didn't tell me what that meant the last time though. She didn't really say anything except "You probably have your dates wrong," before she disappeared from the room in a cloud of dust like the Roadrunner. This time she was cheerful and talkative. She told me, "That's a good looking sac." Then she gave me a picture of it! I definitely didn't get this treatment the last time! All good signs, right?
Brian and I were so excited about this. A good looking sac, we kept repeating to each other. Our baby is a good looking sac! Our sac is not trying to escape from us right now. Our sac is sticking around! That sac is secure! I really liked saying the word 'sac.' For the first time since my BFP I felt like I might actually have a baby. I guess if you were the type of person to use a lot of metaphors (and I totally am! I also use a lot of parentheses and semi-colons), you could say I stuck an entire foot into the pregnancy pool.