Wednesday, May 18, 2011

I Should Buy A Lottery Ticket

This baby is BREECH! Only 3% of babies are breech at birth. How is it that I keep beating all the odds? I've mentioned before that I don't like gambling but I'm thinking it's time to buy a lottery ticket! Seriously, can anything go right?!?!?

I know, I know, I shouldn't complain about all of this rotten luck because I'm lucky just to have a baby at all and the way he comes out of me shouldn't matter. And I know there are much, MUCH, worse things that can happen. And I've said tons of times that I used up all my luck when I met Brian. But still, I'm getting tired of this. I'm tired of something else discouraging me every single freakin appointment!

I'm also tired of my doctors not knowing what the heck they wanna do. One said I'd be induced at 36 weeks, 2 of them said 37 and now 2 of them are saying 38. It's not like I don't want the extra time for baby to develop (and hopefully turn his butt around), but it's frustrating! After the scare last week they had me thinking baby would really be here any day, like I wouldn't even make it to today's appointment. So I got all my stuff ready. My hospital bag was packed, aluminum foil was placed in the bassinet to keep the cats out*, the bottles were sterilized, and we were both mentally prepared to have a baby today. I was hoping for another week, but I was ready for anything....except another problem!

Now it's not an induction they are planning, it's a c-section. I have never been admitted into a hospital in my life. I have never had a single stitch or broken bone. I am going to be 32 years old in a week and I still cry when I go to the dentist! And now they are talking about tying me down to a table and cutting my body open and that is so terrifying to me that if I'm able to sleep at all this next week I'm going to be plagued by nightmares. Especially since the nurse who did my hospital tour told me they prescribe Motrin after a c-section. Yeah, that's not gonna work.

Scheduled c-sections are crappy for other reasons, too. I was actually looking forward to the experience of labor. Using the breathing techniques we learned in class, writing my name in cursive with my hips, relaxing in the jacuzzi tub in the birthing suite, having Brian massage my feet and bring me ice chips, and then that moment when the pain and pushing is over and the baby is placed on my chest looking all gray and bloody, and Brian and I can barely even see the baby through the tears in our eyes...I was really excited to experience all of this.

I'm sorry for being a whiner. I'm just feeling discouraged. I never imagined there would be so many roadblocks on this journey. I mean, the cavewomen made it look so easy.

*I read that putting aluminum foil in the bassinet, crib and playpen will keep cats from jumping in them. Apparently cats aren't supposed to like foil so if they jump in once and find foil they will jump back out and never go near it again. Turns out this is not true. Little Miss Sunshine doesn't seem to dislike foil at all so now my mom is standing guard at the bassinet with a water bottle.

1 comment:

Kalyn said...

I truly believe everything will be perfect. It may not be the way you want it to be, even if you have a c-section you will be able to communicate with Brian easier with less pain during the process. Don't let your fears take away from the joy and happiness you are going to have. I miss and love you guys.