Wednesday, May 25, 2011

The Best of Times, The Worst of Times

On a message board I've been visiting for the last few months there was a discussion about what we all considered the best and worst moments of our pregnancies so far. Even though I answered there, I want to put it here in my blog, as well, to make sure I don't forget. I have a feeling that once I have this baby, all the pregnancy stuff won't seem to matter anymore and I want to make sure that I remember later on that it did matter.

If you've been following my blog for awhile you can probably guess that the worst moment was the 20 week ultrasound when they thought our baby might have a neural tube defect. We don't need to dwell on it now, though, because it turns out they were just being extra-extra cautious. (The same thing they were doing when they told me I couldn't work and put me to bed for 23 hours a day and told me I was going to have a preemie baby based on one blood pressure reading. And now here I am still in bed with a baby still inside me and a stable BP and losing money everyday and looking like the pregnant lady who cried preemie....Oh, and let me make sure it's clear that I did not want a preemie but I was prepared for it. I also said I wanted a girl originally but fell in love with my boy and if it comes out a girl I'm going to have to grieve the loss of a boy I never really had in the first place. Gosh, pregnancy can be so complicated!) Anyway, no more dwelling on the extra-extra cautious. It can be annoying but it is far better to be safe than sorry!

Now for the best of times...

As you all know, Brian and I were both laid off for the winter. So from week 8 through week 30 we were together nearly 24-7. He might have gone to the gas station or bank without me but mostly we were together. And when we are together, unless we are sleeping, Brian is talking. I don't know why women are said to be the talkative ones. Brian seriously never stops. And this baby, from the time he was able to hear, has been hearing his daddy talk and talk and talk...

But on April 11th Brian went back to work and I was all alone for a whole 8 hours and the house was quiet. The baby was usually very active in the day time but this day he was hardly moving at all. I was scared enough to text my friend and tell her the baby wasn't moving and I was freaking out. But then as soon as Brian came home and started talking about work the baby started going crazy in there! Brian was only joking when he said Ian probably just missed him.

The next time Brian went to work he decided to test the theory. Ian was still all day long. When Brian walked in after work he yelled, "Ian! Daddy's home!" And Ian gave me a fist pump! I swear he really did. That was the first time in the pregnancy that I felt he communicated with us. And that is the moment I chose as our "best of times."

We scheduled our c-section yesterday. On June 3rd we are going to have a baby on the outside. I'm sure everything he does, even pooping and crying, will be adorable to us. At least for a little while. And pretty soon these 38 weeks will only be a distant memory. It seems like it takes such a long time to build a baby but in the scheme of things 9 months is nothing. So I'm glad my friends convinced me to start a blog during my unemployment. Now I can look back on these times and even show him how much mommy and daddy loved him, even when he was just an inside baby.

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