I woke up crying today. I had been in the middle of a great dream. In my dream I still lived in Wilmington. I was having lunch on the patio of a restaurant on Carolina Beach with some girlfriends. Yes, I actually had friends in this dream as well! I could feel the sun on my bare shoulders and hear the waves hitting the shore. The seagulls and pelicans were squawking in the background. I was tan, happy and didn't have eczema. So I woke up crying because I'm not there anymore and that means I'm not tan, I'm not happy and I do have eczema. Maybe I shouldn't say I'm not happy, but I can say I'm not as happy as I can be. As I should be.
I feel more homesick for Wilmington than I ever felt for MI. The 3-month-long winter with mild temperatures and hardly any snow was still a downer for someone like me who needs to feel heat like an anorexic needs a bologna sandwich, but even in the winter I had an abundance of things around me to keep me occupied. If I needed retail therapy I could be at Old Navy, Target or Victoria's Secret in 10 minutes (I wouldn't be buying anything from VS right now even if there was one around but that's not the point!). If I was in the mood for live theater (and when am I not in the mood for live theater?) there were always a few shows going on. There were 20 movies playing at the cinema if I ever felt like wasting $60. And the good news is that the winter was over before we knew it and it was time for spring!
Spring is a wonderful time down there. Brian and I would wake up on our one day off a week (always Saturday) to the sun shining into our bedroom window and the sound of kids playing outside. Spring is the best time to do something outdoorsy. We would go to Greenfield Lake to have lunch and look for alligators, or go downtown to get ice cream and walk along the river. Just driving around town with the windows rolled down looking for blooming azaleas and Spanish moss trees made me a hundred times happier than anything in Mackinaw City has this winter.
Sometimes Brian and I would take a spontaneous Saturday afternoon drive down to Myrtle Beach. One particular Saturday really stands out in my mind because it was the day after he proposed. It was in March. It was 85 degrees (which is not considered hot down there). We stopped at a fruit market off the side of the road and got some pears for breakfast. We walked through an outdoor flea market. We got some fresh cut french fries with malt vinegar on the Grand Strand. We went to Broadway @ The Beach and got a pound of bulk candy from It's Sugar. We went to the outlet mall where I got my very first real Kate Spade bag and a pair of K-Swiss with baby blue stripes that are still my favorite shoes 3 years later. And then we topped off a great day with a great dinner at Red Lobster. Here's a picture of that day.
See how happy I was? I guess my life in Wilmington is kind of like an ex-boyfriend. You know how as the time passes you tend to focus on the great times you had together and all the sweet things he did and totally forget about what a douchebag he was? That's my problem here. I only think about the great times. The Saturdays. I don't think about the Sunday through Friday when we were both absolutely miserable and filled to the tops of our heads with hatred. I think about the sun and the flowers and the beach and forget about the fat bitches in tight t-shirts with really long fake fingernails. I remember the gorgeous 80 degree days and forget about the 3 months of 105 degree days when you're risking your life by going outdoors. And just to prove to myself how Wilmington was not perfect, I found this entry in my old blog. It was written on Superbowl Sunday of 2008:
Superbowl of Vanilla Pudding Sunday
Brian and I had to work a double shift today. We both had our lunch hour at 2 and it was such a beautiful day. Perfect 70 degrees and not a cloud in the sky. We decided to take our chicken strips and vanilla pudding to Greenfield Lake and we ate our lunch and watched the canoes and the birds and looked for gators. Then we slow danced in the gazebo to the music of our hearts. Lol, am I making you cringe yet?!?!?!? Then on our walk back to the car we saw a guy and a drag queen in a very disturbing position (think genitals to genitals) that almost ruined my whole mood, yeah, Greenfield Lake is stunning and beautiful but it's also the place to hang out if you're a lowlife drug user/gun-toting hoodlum/homeless person/married man trying to hook up with a drag queen hooker.
Lol, I was pretty funny back then. Don't worry about me, peeps. Summer will be here eventually. I'll keep my spirits up long enough to see it.