I know I promised I wouldn't renege on this decision again but I lied. Remember the day we found out that BC was a "perfect" baby and the ultrasound tech put the gender picture into an envelope for us to open on Valentine's Day?
Right after that appt we went to Target to register. All along I'd been saying that I didn't care what sex the baby was as long as s/he was healthy. Then, like a typical woman, I found out BC was healthy and changed my mind. I blame this on Target.
See, they had set up all the summer stuff in the baby department. In February...in Northern Michigan....where we have 4 inches of snow on the ground as I write this on April 20th. They had a summer accessory set for baby girls that came with a pair of pink sunglasses, pink sandals and a hairbow. They also had a newborn size bathing suit that was turquoise with big hot pink flowers on it and a matching hot pink sunhat. And that was all it took. I wanted that sunhat and I wanted a girl.
When I was a child I was the only girl in the neighborhood. I was forced to play with GI Joes and didn't own a single Barbie doll! I lived with my dad and two brothers. Though my dad did like to do my hair (and still does sometimes), neither he nor my mom knew a thing about makeup, jewelry or high heels. To this day I can't stand the way foundation makes my face feel greasy or the way high heels feel more like devices of torture than fashion statements. I only own one belt and its purpose is not to look cute, but to hold up my pants when I'm dieting. The only jewelry I wear are my wedding rings because earrings hurt my ears and necklaces make me feel strangled. Sometimes I'll go more than 6 months without a haircut because I forgot to get one! Basically, I'm really bad at being a girl and I think this is why I wanted one of my own. All it took was a cute summer display of girly stuff and suddenly my life with a daughter was flashing before my eyes. The hairbows and headbands and cute baby legwarmers! Getting pedicures and highlights together. A Kate Spade for me, a Kate Spade for you...
That night I posted on FB that baby was perfect and we were excited to find out the sex on V-day. And instead of being happy about the healthy baby, people commented on how disappointed they were that we were finding out the sex! These comments hurt me. They put a damper on what had been a great day for us. I tried to put them out of my mind but a few days later I was still upset about it. I decided to rebel against them and take control of my own pregnancy. I had Brian go into the garbage and dig out that ripped up photo. We kept the results to ourselves since certain people clearly didn't want to know. I was afraid that I would be ashamed of myself for peeking but I have never regretted that decision. Knowing the sex of my baby really did make me feel closer to BC. And it also helped me let go of the hurt and anger I felt over the FB comments. It was a win-win! Now we just had to be very careful not to accidentally use certain pronouns!
Our baby shower was on April 9th and it was wonderful! I got my hair cut in the morning and after a mental breakdown over my flabby arms and a last minute costume change, everything went perfectly! My mom did a great job of picking the venue because the food was excellent. My dad surprised us by taking a painting of Dopey from the Seven Dwarfs that I painted in 9th grade and having it framed for BC's nursery! I didn't know he kept it!
After all of our gifts were opened (everyone was so generous) we had a surprise for them, too - a gender-reveal! I had talked to the baker beforehand and told her what color to make the cake. When I cut into it and held up the first piece, everyone saw that it was blue. We are having a boy and everyone got to find out at the same time! Even my brothers were on speakerphone from NC! It was really neat. If I had waited to announce it after the birth, most people would have found out through phone, FB or email so I think we did the right thing.
So no, there will be no hairbows or hot pink sunhats just yet, but I wouldn't trade this little boy in for anything! It's probably for the best anyway. That fictional girl at Target was starting to turn into a diva.