I already told ya'll that I didn't intend on finding out the sex of my baby and explained why I made that decision...but I'm moving over to a different team now. Believe me, it's not because I can't wait to find out. I want to wait. Just like I wanted a normal, happy, no-worries pregnancy. It just doesn't seem to be in the cards for me.
Now that I have to have an ultrasound every 4 weeks there are a whole bunch of ways in which this surprise could be ruined:
1. The tech could let it slip. She was already using certain pronouns at my last appointment. And seeing as how she's an impatient bitch, I find it hard to believe she'll be able to keep this a secret for 5 months during all of her huffing and puffing. She is clearly not concerned about my feelings.
2. I could see something I'm not supposed to see. My mom says I can easily look away during those times but you never know which way a baby is going to move or wiggle or which position they'll be in and I don't want to spend every ultrasound with my eyes closed. That just seems ridiculous.
3. Brian could let it slip. Brian DOES want to know, he wants to know very, very badly and there's no way he's going to look away from that screen ever. If he knew the sex and I didn't I'd also have to worry about him letting it slip! Or finding something he bought that is clearly for one sex or another.
If any of these things happen, I'm gonna be disappointed so I decided to be proactive and pop the bubble on my own before anyone else has a chance. Our appointment with the high-risk specialist is tomorrow. We're going to ask the tech to write the sex down on a piece of paper and put it in a sealed envelope. Then, on Valentine's Day we will have dinner and we'll open the envelope together during dessert. For those of you who don't know or don't remember, February 14th was the due date for our first baby. This will be a way to create a better memory for both of us, and it's also a lot more special than finding out the sex while I'm lying in a cold dark room with goo all over my belly, possibly next to the wicked witch of the north. Actually I shouldn't call her that. It's an insult to the Wicked Witch of the West who was actually a very kind person who just happened to be very misunderstood. I'll have to think of a different name for her. But anyway, at least we will still get a "special" moment....with chocolate fondue instead of ice chips.
BUT....we are still not revealing the sex to anyone else. I know, it'll be tricky. If anyone has suggestions on making this easier I'd love to hear them. For now, we're just praying for a great day tomorrow in Traverse City.